Review: Heart 2 Heart Cuffs

Heart 2 Heart Cuffs $35.00 from Babeland

Earlier this year I was fortunate enough to receive the Heart 2 Heart Whip to review. I loved it. We still use it all the time, actually. I saw the matching Heart 2 Heart Cuffs and asked Babeland if they would let me review them.

and they did!

The first thing I noticed, as with most leather products, was the luxurious smell when I opened the box. They were quite a bit smaller than the other cuffs we own. This is a good thing because I can easily slip my hands out of the others if I want. The Heart 2 Heart Cuffs are more suited for people with slender wrists and hands. They fit very snugly.

They’re made of two separate leather straps. The bottom one is soft and black. It’s about 9″ long and 2.5″ wide. The soft, supple texture of the leather allows it to easily wrap and overlap around even the most slender wrists. The red strap is designed like a belt. It’s 11″ long (12″ with the buckle). There are 7 holes, each about 1/2″ apart, the closest being 6″ from the buckle. With the added material I would be willing to wager it would fit a wrist as small as 4 1/2 – 5″ around. The furthest hole is about 9″ away from the buckle, so it might fit someone with wrists that large, but considering the overlapping leathers I would say to pick another set of cuffs if your wrists are bigger around than 8 1/2″.

Just like the whip, theses cuffs are very well made. The sewing is neat and sturdy. The silver hardware is gorgeous against the black and red. The cuffs look very masculine to me, which is great since my husband loves to wear them. I prefer more feminine dress and bondage (if I’m going to be wearing it, anyway). If you’re a fan of the colors or less frilly looking bondage, these will fit the bill. Store them somewhere dry so you don’t rust or tarnish the hardware. Wipe them down with a damp cloth to clean off any sweat.

If you’re looking for a new pair of cuffs and you think these are interesting, you can pick up your very own pair at Babeland.com. They have the matching whip, blindfold and collar if you want to get the whole set. They’ve got a nice selection of other cuffs and BDSM gear, as well as plenty of other sex toys to peruse, so take your time and find something you like! Thanks so much to Babeland for sending me these to review.


FTC Statement: This product was provided to me free of charge in exchange for my unbiased opinion.

Justification and Accountability

You Know Better

I have been trying, for about 2 weeks now, to put together a post about monogamy. It’s been very frustrating that it hasn’t come together like I intended it to. I just got done reading another piece excusing deception, lying and cheating on your partner. It seems like that’s all I’ve been seeing lately, are posts trying to justify the actions and choices of the unfaithful. Some of them are based on scientific research that claims humans are not biologically designed to be monogamous, casting aside the fact that we’re more than just simple minded animals driven by our sexual urges and we’re fully capable of making the decision to commit to a single person for a lifetime. Some of them, like the post I just read, blame one partner for not holding up their end of the bargain, sexually, and claim that if a person’s sexual desires aren’t being met then they should be free to look elsewhere.

All of these things are true, to an extent, but there’s a huge fucking problem with this one-sided logic. Because we’re human beings and we have the capability to make choices, we can’t simply excuse away our negative behavior as some uncontrollable biological urge. We have the ability to predict the consequences of our actions and we know that if we choose to cheat on our partner that they’re going to be hurt.

The blog I just read talked about Dan Savage and his opinion on monogamous relationships:

– if you are in a relationship with someone where the sex was great in the beginning, if the person involved led you to believe that sex would be an ongoing piece of your relationship’s equation, and then suddenly the sex stops, then you have a biological and natural right to go get your needs met somewhere else.

While I agree with a lot of what he says, I believe this is absolutely, 100% wrong. You see, when you are in a committed, monogamous relationship with someone, you owe it to that person to exhaust all possible options before you get your needs met somewhere else.  And that decision needs to be one your partner is involved in or that ends your monogamous relationship, not one that you make behind their back. Sex is almost always great in the beginning of a relationship. Then this little thing called life happens. People get job promotions, mortgages, bigger bills, kids, stress on top of stress on top of more stress and these things can have profound effects on the sex drive. Sometimes health problems, particularly hormonal ones, will pop up. Sometimes the medications to treat these health problems or the health issues themselves will cause a lack of sex drive. There are million and one reasons why the sex might not be as smokin’ hot as it was in the beginning of the relationship.

If you’re in a monogamous relationship you aren’t automatically entitled to hot, steamy sex. I don’t know how on earth we managed to encourage such an entitled generation of people, who believe that everything needs to come to them easily. Relationships and hot sex? They take work to maintain. If you aren’t getting what you want out of your relationship, talk to your partner, for fucks sake, y’all. How hard is that? If you find out that there are medical issues or stress that are interfering with things, figure out what the hell you can do to manage them. Share the burden. If that doesn’t work, for whatever reason, but both of you are trying really hard, that doesn’t give you the license to go get your needs met elsewhere. There are other ways to be intimate with your partner and there is a huge sex toy industry. Seriously, check out my banner links and you can see just a hint of what’s out there to spice things up. Masturbation can even be done with your partner present and it might spark a new fetish for you.

If nothing else is working for you, you can talk to your partner about opening up your relationship so that you can get your sexual fulfillment from somewhere else. This still is going to require communication and honesty and boundaries, but if it works for you that’s great. Otherwise you should simply end things with your partner, if you absolutely can not find a solution to what you’re missing in your relationship. But under no circumstances should you ever, ever cheat on your partner.

Lying and deception is wrong. There is nothing you can say that will justify doing things to someone you’ve promised to be in a committed relationship with. If you’re going to lie, cheat and deceive your partner, accept responsibility for the choice you made to do so. Don’t make up some half-cocked excuse about human biology and your sexual needs. If you’re going to (knowingly) participate in an affair with someone who is suppose to be in a committed monogamous relationship, fucking own it. Don’t paint yourself as some god damn philanthropist because you helped them realize what they were missing in their life and helped them file for the divorce they didn’t have the balls to ask for. What you did is not right. Not in any way, shape or form. It was wrong and you need to be accountable for the wrong choices you make instead of making excuses and justifying what you did.

But we don’t like to admit when we make a wrong move, do we? We don’t want to be responsible for the choices we make. We want to point our fingers at everyone else. It makes us feel kinda icky when we have to admit that what we did wasn’t right. So we try and try and try to blame the society we live in for having outdated morals and traditions that they try to force on us. Like there is something wrong with expecting people to be decent human beings and have respect for each other by not lying to people. If you’re incapable of having enough empathy for your fellow man, then it makes you a shitty human being. It’s time you started coming to terms with that.

Sunday Weekly Wrap-It-Up #22

More apologies for my lack of frequency in blogging. The kids start school tomorrow (cue Hallelujah Chorus). I will be dancing, in the front yard, while singing the ‘Get On The Bus‘ song by the Doodlebops. I adore my babies, but I’m so ready for the break. I should have plenty of time to catch up on all the things I’ve been slacking on, provided my daughter doesn’t become even more of a clinger when she doesn’t have her brothers here to play with.

Things are improving with my mood. I actually think the generic birth control is a better fit for me than the Ortho Tri-Cyclen Lo. Aside from yesterday, my energy levels have improved, my mood is better and if Chad wasn’t exhausted from his 14 hour days we would probably be doing it every night of the week. Last night we were interrupted by accidentally grabbing the cooling lube (thanks a lot Carrie Ann =p). Sometimes it’s fun to play with, but it was like ice in my crotch last night and it wouldn’t wipe off! It took about 20 minutes for it to wear off and by that time my poor husband was sleeping peacefully. I know he wouldn’t have minded waking up to his wife straddling him, but I figured we would have plenty of time for sex while the kids are at school.

I woke up pretty early this morning and have already got 3 loads of laundry done. Just a load of towels and the bath mats and I will be finished with all of the laundry. Of course, that won’t last long. With 7 people living here there will be another load by this evening when we all get our showers. But for one small moment in time, there will be nothing but clean clothes in my house. Which is good, because I am almost out of laundry soap and I can’t go buy more until Wednesday. Since I don’t have clothes to wash I guess I’ll scrub my bathroom. I’m sure my tub and shower could use a good washing. It’s a strange feeling, to look forward to cleaning. It counts as exercise though and I’m trying to tone up my bingo wings. The only thing that sucks about it is having to take breaks to eat in the middle of it. It breaks my momentum. I have to keep my metabolism up though, or I’ll wind up plateauing on my weight loss progress.

I guess I better get started. Today’s Song for Sunday is “Great Day to be Alive” by Travis Tritt. I hope you’re all having a great day too!

Sarah’s Got Her Groove Back!

Last week must have been a fluke. Things are going well, as far as my weight loss and body are concerned. There’s some family illness going on right now, but things look like they’ll be fine on that front.

I may not have lost any weight this week, but I measured myself this morning and I’ve lost a total of 7.5 inches in the last 3 weeks (from the areas I measure on my body). 3 of them? Came off my hips! I’ve lost a few stray inches from my bust, thighs and calves as well. I was feeling a bit down because the scale has gone up and down this week, but I haven’t lost any more pounds. Then to find out about the inches and to notice the difference in the mirror has been a big pick-me-up.

Chad’s so silly. He told me he could really tell a difference in my face with the weight loss, already, and then he asked what sort of exercises you do to make your face skinny. He proceeded to make really silly faces and count and breath until I was laughing and rolling my eyes. He? Has lost 15 lbs himself. His pants are falling off of him! We’re both doing very well with our eating habits and we’ve started taking walks in the evenings on top of any other exercise we do during the day. It’s nice to get out of the house and spend that time together.

In other news, my vagina is working again. I’m going to assume that it was my birth control. I was finally able to get my GYN to fax in the prescription for the generic and get it filled. Two days of taking it and I’m a new woman. I did a take-two on the sexy lingerie (which I’ll be reviewing soon enough). There’s some back story I need to tell so there may be an HNT or WW with it soon too. There was no trouble with wetness and I felt everything and was able to have a very relaxing orgasm. Usually, orgasms make me wide awake but last night I passed out afterward.

I hope the weekend is awesome.

What is Going On Down There?!

My sex drive has been improving, slightly. I’m not ravenous and I have some moody days, but I feel like I generally want to have sex more frequently. The problem is that when I do, no matter how much foreplay or touching we do, I’m not getting wet (and I am usually at least soaking my panties). I also can not feel a god damn thing! Well, I take that back, I do feel it when we hit a bad angle or there’s too much weight on my episiotomy scar. Other than that, I am getting no real pleasurable sensations.

I can’t feel my clitoris, it’s painful to stimulate my g-spot and it’s frustrating the hell out of me because it’s having an impact on my mood to not be able to have sex and orgasm.

Occasionally, when I hear Chad nearing an orgasm, I will suddenly begin feeling enough to have an orgasm, but it’s not a very big one. I’ve googled losing sensitivity in clitoris/vulva and all I seem to keep pulling up are questions or papers about using sex toys and losing sensitivity. Which is untrue, long term, though you can temporarily desensitize yourself if you’re using vibrators, but the sensations come back after a little while of not using them. I, however, have not been using toys very frequently and it’s because I can’t feel them anyway.

How do I complete sex toy reviews? How do I even out my moods and restore the intimacy in my marriage? We’re talking more and he’s taking walks with me and the dog, but there is a huge missing puzzle piece when I can’t enjoy sex. He gets off on my enjoyment and it relaxes me. I bought lingerie that I look very sexy in. Lingerie that he told me was probably the most well fitting piece we own, and I still couldn’t get turned on.

I’m hoping it’s just something hormonal, because I haven’t been able to get my doctor’s office to call in the prescription for my birth control yet. I should have been taking the first week by now and maybe the hormones are making my body all wonky. I don’t know, but I’m going nuts here. I want to have a freaking orgasm, and a good one, soon. You don’t realize how long a week or two is when you go without sex, or at least you can’t feel the sex you’re having. I thought weight loss, eating right and exercising were suppose to make sex better. I hope this sorts itself out soon because I don’t know if our insurance covers going to a doctor for ‘Why the fuck isn’t my vagina working anymore?’

Sunday Weekly Wrap-It-Up #21

I can’t believe I didn’t write anything this week. I started a few things but the words just weren’t coming out like I wanted. I have inspiration for a few posts and I’ve got some reviews to get done. It’s been particularly busy here with only a week left until school starts. We’ve had to get the kids to the doctor to get shots and screenings, shop for supplies and I’m still focusing on eating good things and exercising. Perhaps it will slow down once the kids are in school and I’m left to deal with just the youngest most days. She’s easy to please.

I’m trying to read Half-Blood Prince but I think I keep putting it off because I don’t want to read about how Snape has been bad all along. I’m reading a chapter or two at a time, really slowly pacing myself through this book. If I sat down I’d have it read in under a day. I’ve been playing a little bit of WoW with Chad. We thought we’d piddle with new characters for a bit and see how we still liked the game. We’re still unsure about whether or not we’ll be buying the expansion when it’s released. It’s kind of a time sink, even when we’re only playing an hour or two a couple times a week. My game time ran out (or at least it should have) yesterday, so it will be a couple weeks without it. If I even decide to buy a new game card on pay day.

I went to purchase my first prescription of birth control and found out the one I was on is $70 a month. Certainly not something I can afford. I almost cried in the store because my periods and hormones finally feel regulated. I’ve been on Ortho Tri-Cyclen Lo for two months and things were going so well. There are supposedly generics for it, but the pharmacist said I had to call my doctor and have them call in a new prescription for them because they couldn’t change anything on their own. I called my OB/GYN and the nurse said she would call it in. We went to pick it up and the pharmacist said nothing had been done. So, I have to wait until tomorrow to call them back and see what’s up. I hope they can get it sorted out so that I can start the next pack before it wreaks havoc on my body and disrupts my weight loss progress.

I managed to maintain my weight through my period. I didn’t binge on foods like I usually do. I did feel a need for red meat twice and then another need for some peanut butter. I had ice cream with reese pieces a few times, but it was a small portion and I stayed close to my calorie goals. I’ve even lost 2 more lbs in the day or two since my period ended! I also lost 1.5″ off my hips! I’m going to be spacing my weigh ins and measurements out to weekly or bi-weekly so that I don’t feel like I’m obsessing over the numbers. I start comparing the numbers to other things and lose motivation. Like, I still only have one pair of pants that fits me the way I like. That was a little disappointing. We went to see Vampires Suck and I was trying on clothes and not being satisfied with how anything looked. Chad finally told me I looked great and I needed to stop being so hard on myself and we had a really fun time. We actually met a friend at the store where we were picking up healthier munchies than what we could purchase at the theater and he went with us. We should do stuff like that more often.

Speaking of motivation, I ordered $200 worth of lingerie, a size down, and it should be here Tuesday. I got a 30% coupon and plenty of gift cards so I didn’t actually spend any money on it, so that was awesome. We’ll actually have a lot of stuff to do Tuesday, considering the boys new bedroom set will be here and I’ll be working on organizing their stuff. It’s gonna be a busy week.

Sunday: Weekly Wrap-It-Up #20

It’s been a really good week. I’ve been steadily making progress with my eating and exercise habits and have managed to lose about 6 lbs this past week and a half. My period started two days ago and I’ve noticed that these things have helped me have virtually no cramps or cravings. Though yesterday I had to eat a steak for dinner because I was pretty fatigued. Usually I crave salty snacks and sweet snacks during this time, but getting the right nutrients into my body is inhibiting that. I’ve managed to maintain my calorie goals and maintain my weight. Hopefully there will be at least a small loss after my period ends, because I do feel like I’m retaining some water.

I’ve had quite a few non-scale victories, mostly exercise related. Exercises I could not do last week came more easily this week. I’m trying to keep my routine varied enough to keep me interested and keep my muscles working. I’ve got several Jillian Michaels DVD’s (30 Day Shred, Yoga Meltdown, No More Trouble Zones), a biggest loser workout with Bob, Shimmy (belly dancing on FitTV) and the Wii Fit. If it would stop raining I could get out and take walks/runs. It feels really, really good to make it through the entire workout or circuit of things I was having so much trouble with last week. I feel accomplished. Really accomplished.

I can feel the muscles in my arms, my legs, my butt and back. I can already see some changes in the shape of my body. I can feel the changes. My flexibility is improving. I managed to do quad stretches, which I have not been able to do in a few years because of the size of my thighs and butt. My sex drive is increasing. I haven’t had anything you could really call a fantasy in several years. I never imagined anything while I was masturbating. Now? I find myself randomly in the mood and thinking of things to do or to ask Chad to do to me. It feels good to just feel my body normalizing.

With the increased energy and mood I’ve felt like doing more around the house. I’m still not a kick-ass housekeeper, mostly because it’s hard to pick up after 4 kids, but I’m on top of things. The laundry is being kept up, I’m cooking two meals a day instead of popping something into the microwave. My sleep schedule, save for the naps due to period fatigue, is great. I feel fully rested after a good night’s sleep. Chad and I spent a lot of time together on his last few days off, reconnecting and talking.

It’s just going very, very well around here. This weeks Song for Sunday is something that reminds me of when Chad and I were dating. It’s a song we sang to each other a couple of weekends ago as we were driving home from a family visit. It’s a song that makes me happy. It’s ‘I Wanna Know’ by Joe.

Perfectionism

I want things done right, and of course my way is always the right way. I greatly appreciate when my sister and husband pitch in to help with the housework, but there is a huge difference in the way we do things. When they’ve cleaned up, the floor gets clean. All the toys, trash and things that get scattered about by the kids get picked up quickly.

While it’s awesome to not get up and step on legos or action figures in the middle of the night, it’s leaves the eye-level surfaces a mess, which doesn’t make the house feel clean at all. When I clean, I work my way from the surfaces to the floor, dusting, sorting, and putting everything in it’s place. Things feel better when everything is in a basket or stacked neatly, rather than piled up on a dresser or table.

I’m the same way in a lot of areas of my life. I have a vision in my head of things and I want them done that way. When I see something in a magazine, like a shelving system, I make a mental note of all of the items and wind up talking myself out of getting it because I don’t have all the items that are on it. Kind of weird, right? But it is difficult for me to improvise when it comes to certain things. I think this is why I have a difficult time, sometimes, when it comes to weight loss. I see menus on weight loss plans and I think I need to eat exactly that for it to work. This adds up to a really expensive grocery bill and it also doesn’t quite work because there are things I can not eat because of food allergies (like shrimp and other shellfish). So I sabotage myself because I think I’m not doing it right.

Not this time! I’ve subbed in foods, even if I have to force myself to do it. It’s hard, but I make up for it by measuring out serving sizes and plugging in my food intake at myfitnesspal.com. It fills my need to catalog everything. Figuring out what works feels good. Accomplishment feels good. I’m slowly realizing that things don’t have to be perfect. That I’m not perfect . . .

and that’s okay.

The Real Reason I Hate Porn

I’ve said several times before that I’m just not that into porn, and it’s the truth. There’s a very rare occasion where I am interested in it, and it’s even more rare that it turns me on. I find the actors and actresses to typically be pretty fake and unbelievable. I guess it just really doesn’t do it for me to watch two other people having sex. There’s something else, though, and it’s that I am jealous.

Porn makes me feel insecure. Not the actual sex, because anyone can do most of that, but the women. I do not like when my husband watches porn and hentai, though I prefer hentai. You know how a lot of guys are intimidated by sex toys? They don’t understand why we would need a thick, ribbed dildo or a vibrator because it’s nothing like a real penis. It’s nothing like their penis. They don’t get why we can’t get off on what they have to offer us on it’s own.

That? is how I feel about porn.

Here I sit, with my weight and my flaws and I see that he spent 5 hours watching porn Sunday while I was out shopping for workout and school clothes. He didn’t even bother to put up the Pjur silicone lube from his computer desk. That’s what usually tips me off that he’s been watching it. He doesn’t usually clean up after himself.

I don’t like that he watches porn alone. I’ve asked that if anything, we watch stuff like that together, even if it doesn’t really get me in the mood. It’s a huge blow to my self esteem and my trust when I see that sort of thing.  I don’t understand why he has to look at pictures and videos of other naked women to masturbate. I don’t look like those women, even remotely, so why would he be attracted to that?

It’s the same question guys ask themselves when they’re feeling insecure about our sex toys. I’m not like that so why does she need that? Of course, there are differences, but it hurts just the same. Maybe it’s irrational and unsexy, but it’s how I feel.

New Foods

The other times I’ve tried to diet I attempted, very poorly, to cook some new foods. Things like salmon, asparagus and eggplant turned out to be completely disgusting. Now that I’ve learned some things about cooking, and I love it, I’ve found out that these foods can be delicious and still be healthy.

Today for lunch I prepared a modified version of this Eggplant Parmesan recipe. I brushed the eggplant with oil and minced garlic, baked it for about 15 minutes and then the magic started. I layered the slices on the bottom of the baking dish and sprinkled Parmesan cheese mixed with basil on it. Then, I sliced fresh Roma tomatoes and layered them on top of that. I was out of mozzarella so I subbed in some slices of provolone and some crumbled feta. On top of that I layered some baby spinach, drizzled about 1 tablespoon of olive oil over it and sprinkled the rest of the Parmesan/basil mixture. I baked that for about 20 minutes and oh….my….gawd, it was delicious.

The kids loved it and it wound up still being around 450 calories a serving. Perfect for a sensible lunch and very filling. I’ve gotta start taking pictures of all this stuff I’m making.

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