Hrmph!

er… uh, relationships in general

I had a conversation with my brother a couple of years ago. He moved into my house, that year, to escape an abusive relationship with his ex-boyfriend. I had to leave for work and I think he was out applying for jobs or buying cigarettes or something. He had walked to the store and it started raining so he asked if someone could come pick him up. I told him I couldn’t because I had to leave for work, but that the sky was cloudy before he ever decided to walk to the store and he should have thought about that before making the choice to walk anywhere. He became, what I would consider, unreasonably upset. He started telling me that he would be out of my house as soon as he could and not to worry about him, he would find someone else to stay with. He wouldn’t burden me any longer. He told me that he knew I wanted him out of my house, which was not the case at all. I offered to let him stay with me because I love him and care about his well being.

I immediately checked him on his drama and told him to shut up. He always reacts that way, to any sort of confrontation, even the most minor ones. It’s why he changes jobs and moves so frequently. Rather than understand that conflicts happen in all relationships, he would rather cut ties and move along. Any minor dispute is grounds for the ending of a relationship. I have no idea what made him this way because I am the exact opposite. I understand that every relationship has conflicts because no two people are exactly alike. No two people will share every single point of view, opinion, or passion.  There has to be some sort of difference in a relationship to keep things interesting. Even my husband and I have different opinions on things sometimes. Does that mean we should get divorced?

Hell no.

Some of the shit I’ve been reading lately really makes me shake my head. People have such fair weather attitudes towards their ‘friends’. I don’t know about you all, but I graduated from high school about nine years ago. The idea of ending a relationship with someone I consider a friend (for any length of time) over something trivial is behind me.

“You disagreed with me, we’re not friends anymore. Hmmph.”

It’s ridiculous. The cliquey shit? It’s childish. If I stopped being friends (or talking to) the people who are ‘friends’ with The Whore then no one would be on my blogroll. I could, because seeing her comment on blogs I read regularly still sparks anger inside of me, but I won’t because it’s selfish and immature. I can’t expect anyone else to end relationships with people I dislike, with people who say mean things about me, with people I think are idiots. It’s not my place to govern anyone else’s relationships and friendships for them.

I recently read something that said you should ask yourself  ”Will this matter in 5 years? in 10? in 20?”. You really do have to consider this before making decisions, because some impulsive decisions have long term consequences. T. I. was telling a teenager on his show “T.I.’s Road to Redemption” about one of his friends who is serving a life sentence in prison. He’s been in there ten years for murdering someone and he can’t even remember why he killed them! This is a very harsh example, but people’s lives are changed completely over trivial shit.