Your Dreams

Posted by Sarahbear on July 28, 2010

Dear Dreams,

You probably already know that I have never been a terribly ambitious person. I think it’s partly due to my laid back attitude about everything. I do know that I always wanted a family, and I’ve got a wonderful husband and four beautiful children. I hope to make my family as happy as they make me, ultimately. This is my most intense hope.

I’ve considered getting some college training in the medical field, maybe nursing or becoming a physician’s assistant. Maybe in psychology. I’ve considered becoming a teacher. I’ve even considered becoming a cosmetologist and an interior designer. Maybe, some day, I will. Maybe not. I can’t decide because I fear it would take up too much time away from my family. I’m also hesitant because of the economy. I see no point in paying off college debt for an education I may never be able to use when I would be just as happy going back to my retail job.

See? I’m easy to please.

I’ve dreamed of losing weight, for years. While I’ve accepted my body and how pregnancy has changed it, I’m still not happy with it. I don’t recognize myself in the mirror sometimes. I want to get to a place where we’re financially capable of maintaining a diet and exercise plan. This should be doable by the time K starts school. I’ll have time during the day to do what I need to do, uninterrupted by the needs of the children.

I want to travel to beautiful places with my husband and occasionally the children. We’ve taken a few trips, but I have more places I’d love to visit. Some I refuse to visit until I’ve lost some weight because I want to feel beautiful in a bathing suit on the lovely beaches in those places. If I am unable to lose and maintain a lower weight, I hope that I do not let it hold me back from experiencing such beautiful locations.

I hope that I am able to pursue more of the hobbies I enjoy. I’d like to sew some quilts, take some beautiful pictures, read many more books…

I hope that I raise happy children who look back fondly on their lives. Who feel comfortable coming to me when they need to talk, need advice or need help. Who feel free to live their lives the way they want to without fear of judgement. I hope I leave them with the ability to be compassionate and realistic, to look for the good in everyone, just like my grandmother taught me. I hope that they define their own success instead of feeling the need to live up to others ideas about it.

I hope my husband and I are always as passionate as we are today. That we never grow apart in our age and as we empty our nest. That we never hurt each other the way that we have in the past. I hope that we can experience grandchildren, even great-grandchildren. I hope that we are never without each other.

So dreams, I hope you can see where my priorities are. I hope that you will help me continue to love my family for a long time…

and maybe throw in a few of those other things.

-Sarah