Perfectionism

Posted by Sarahbear on August 12, 2010

I want things done right, and of course my way is always the right way. I greatly appreciate when my sister and husband pitch in to help with the housework, but there is a huge difference in the way we do things. When they’ve cleaned up, the floor gets clean. All the toys, trash and things that get scattered about by the kids get picked up quickly.

While it’s awesome to not get up and step on legos or action figures in the middle of the night, it’s leaves the eye-level surfaces a mess, which doesn’t make the house feel clean at all. When I clean, I work my way from the surfaces to the floor, dusting, sorting, and putting everything in it’s place. Things feel better when everything is in a basket or stacked neatly, rather than piled up on a dresser or table.

I’m the same way in a lot of areas of my life. I have a vision in my head of things and I want them done that way. When I see something in a magazine, like a shelving system, I make a mental note of all of the items and wind up talking myself out of getting it because I don’t have all the items that are on it. Kind of weird, right? But it is difficult for me to improvise when it comes to certain things. I think this is why I have a difficult time, sometimes, when it comes to weight loss. I see menus on weight loss plans and I think I need to eat exactly that for it to work. This adds up to a really expensive grocery bill and it also doesn’t quite work because there are things I can not eat because of food allergies (like shrimp and other shellfish). So I sabotage myself because I think I’m not doing it right.

Not this time! I’ve subbed in foods, even if I have to force myself to do it. It’s hard, but I make up for it by measuring out serving sizes and plugging in my food intake at myfitnesspal.com. It fills my need to catalog everything. Figuring out what works feels good. Accomplishment feels good. I’m slowly realizing that things don’t have to be perfect. That I’m not perfect . . .

and that’s okay.