Time

Posted by Sarahbear on September 15, 2010

tick tock

One year ago, today, my entire world was flipped upside down. It seemed like just another normal day. I got up, got the kids on the bus and went about my daily chores around the house. I caught a quick nap around the middle of the morning and woke up startled by a dream I had. Dylan had an appointment for an eye exam and I dreamed Chad told me his mother called and said she took him home from school and he had missed the appointment. I ran to check Chad’s phone and there was a text message from his mistress.

“It’s suppose to rain in ATL this weekend, baby.”

Even though I can remember what happened, there is no longer a soul crushing pain that follows. It has become, over the year, just another obstacle that I have overcome. I have become a stronger woman. My marriage has been strengthened as well. Chad and I have more frequent date nights. We talk more. We ask ourselves ‘What can I do to make your day better?’ every morning. Of course, we still have our little spats and we have our selfish days, but there’s such a massive change in our life.

We don’t spend our time together with our backs facing each other while we play World of Warcraft. We watch movies together. We exercise together. We play with the kids together. We cook together. We love each other, all over again.

The kids? They’re happier too. We’ve made huge changes this year. The kids are on a real schedule. They go to bed when it’s bed time and they go to sleep. That leaves a lot more time for Chad and I to be intimate in the evenings. We’ve been working hard to make things right and I think we’re there. Now it’s a maintenance game. We have to refuse to get complacent.  We have to strive to continue to make each other happy. We have to continue to communicate with each other, even when it’s painful or when it feels silly.

Two days ago I was hit with a memory. I thought about when Chad and I went to see the Half-Blood Prince in the local theater. I had to work a split-shift at work because of inventory. Chad was working overnight. I remembered asking him to come spend the 4 hours between the shift with me, and we could go on a date together. He had acted like he wasn’t really interested, but came anyway. I couldn’t remember what day it was, so I began looking through my facebook statuses in search of the date. I wondered if his reluctance to come spend time with me had anything to do with his affair. My quest was cut short when I saw all of the sweet poems he had written me, the updates about the fun things we were doing together, the flowers he sent me and the very real effort we were putting into things. I did find out that it was a full month before the affair, but it no longer mattered. I realized that none of it matters anymore because we are at a different place in our lives than we were a year ago.

It’s true what they say about time healing all wounds, but you have to nurse the wound and take care of yourself while you wait. We’re going on a fun date this weekend to see Easy A. I kind of have a girl crush on Emma Stone. We’ll eat somewhere fun, maybe the Japanese steak house. I’m looking forward to our dates. I know we’ll be heading to a Haunted House next month. We’ve got a big month ahead of us. A niece who’s turning 10, Dylan is turning 6, Ty is turning 5, a family reunion, and Halloween! We’ll find plenty of time for each other amongst all the craziness.