Lia

It’s been about a month since I received my first assignment as a California Exotics Sexpert. I was sent the Lia Magic Wand to test thoroughly. The Lia is a slender vibrator made of matte silicone. It has four long ripples along it’s body, with the last being curved for g-spot stimulation.

Like most silicone, the vibrations are deep and thuddy rather than buzzy. They seemed to be completely concentrated in the tip of the toy as well. I didn’t notice any in the shaft. Even though they could only be felt in that one part of the toy, they were very intense. A little too intense for my sensitive clit, but perfect for those who need strong pinpointed vibrations to bring them to orgasm. When used internally the vibrations are concentrated on the g-spot. The head of the toy is quite flexible so I found it worked best to thrust quickly with it. You can’t apply pressure with a flexible tip, but you can get a nice drag from the texture of the silicone and the ridges along the shaft.

I typically prefer thicker toys. The Lia is about 1 1/4″ in diameter. It’s a fantastic choice for a beginner or if you need to work up to a larger insertable. I did enjoy thrusting with it, despite it’s slender girth.

Okay, this is going to seem kinda nerdy, but the coolest thing about this toy is the noise it makes when it’s vibrating. It literally makes me think ‘pew pew lasers’. In almost every single one of the ten functions. They’re all intense, but the pattern varies. Cycling through them all sounds like a Star Wars battle in your vagina! This is probably not ideal if you have privacy issues, but I thought it was pretty neat. It runs on two AA batteries and it’s waterproof. Only use water-based lubes so you don’t ruin the silicone. Clean it with antibacterial soap and warm water or a commercial toy cleaner.

If you want your own Lia Magic Wand you can get one from Better Sex. Thanks to California Exotics for sending me such a fun toy to review.

FTC Statement: This product was sent to me free of charge in exchange for my unbiased opinion.

I'm a Sexpert, y'all!

Doesn't seem like ten years ago at all.

Ah, senior prom. One of the many over-rated events of every high school students life. I remember mine just like it was yesterday. It was 2001 and I had been in a serious relationship with Kevin for nearly a year. I was so freaking excited about the prom that I used every penny I earned babysitting to put a deposit down for my gorgeous emerald green dress. I even paid to have a strappy pair of sandals sent off to be dyed to match. I spent months day dreaming about how wonderful and romantic my evening would be with Kevin. He’d pick me up in his black Mitsubishi Mirage, take me to a nice dinner and then we would spend the night dancing in each other’s arms before heading back to his house for our own little after-party.

That March I found out he was going to be deployed the week before my prom. I cried and cried, and then he broke up with me and I cried some more. My friend Luis, who sat next to me in Trig, offered to go to the prom with me. He was hot and it made me feel better that he wanted to take me. Then he got a girlfriend and I told him he should take her instead. It just didn’t feel right because I knew damn well I would have slept with him that night if given the opportunity. That’s just not the kinda girl I am, folks. A couple of guys seemed interested in taking me, but only because they thought I was easy, so I eventually asked a guy who came to church with my friend to go with me. His name was Korte. Yes, Korte. He was a junior, but he was tall and so cute. I had a little bit of a crush on him. I went to his house a few times to get to know him better and make plans for prom. We wound up double-dating with Jessica and Stephen, two very good friends of ours.

The day of prom my mom and dad came over to my grandma’s to take pictures. Dad took me to get my nails done and then my mom and grandma took me to get my hair done. I put on my dress, shoes and the jewelry my aunt had picked out for me. Everyone was trying very hard to make this a special memory for me. My mom was taking pictures and calling me her “Scarlet”. She’s always said that because I had fair skin, dark brown hair and bright green eyes that I was her “Scarlet” (ya know, from Gone With the Wind). She was getting misty-eyed every time I turned around and it wasn’t long before Korte and Stephen showed up to get me.

My date, Korte, had green hair. When I asked him to prom his hair was brown and I hadn’t seen him in over a week because we went to different high schools. He was suppose to get a matching tie and boutineer, not dye his hair to match my dress and shoes!  We took a few more pictures before heading over to Stephen’s house so his mom could get pictures and we could meet Jessica. Once we got to Stephen’s house and did all of that his car would not start. I wound up having to borrow my grandmother’s car, which she was not very thrilled about, and Stephen’s mother drove us back to my house. We headed to this little German restaurant where I didn’t eat because my date hadn’t brought very much money along and I had spent all of mine buying my dress, shoes, and tickets. Jessica and I realized that no one brought a camera so we decided to go grab a disposable one from Wal-Mart while the boys ate. We felt like hot shit waltzing through the isles in our prom dresses. We flirted with a few guys, who even followed us back to the restaurant (which was kind of creepy), but they left when our dates came out to meet us at the car.

and eighty pounds ago...

Finally, we were ready to go to the prom. We showed up about an hour after it started and we were ready to dance. Jessica, Stephen and I were having a blast. Korte was hiding from me. Every time I tried to dance with him he freaked out and moved away. It made me feel a little insecure, especially when I saw another girl dancing all over him. I pointed it out to a few friends and said ‘eff it’ and danced with Jason. Jason was h-o-t. Like Hugh Grant with red hair. The principal tapped us on the shoulder a few times for dancing too closely, but we had a lot of fun. Soon though, Korte was reminding me that he was still some sort of house arrest/curfew/probation for shoving some poor freshmen into a drum case during band camp. We wound up having to leave prom early and didn’t even get to hang out at Stephen’s afterward. I dropped Stephen and Jess off and then took Korte home. I parked the car and said “What do we do now? Do I walk you to your door or something?” and he said something like “I’m not kissing you.”

I just shoved him out of the car and drove home. He made me feel awful all night. I dragged my tired body to bed and tried to get some sleep. I couldn’t miss Sunday school the next morning and it was already midnight. Around 3 a.m. I woke up screaming and crying because my knees were killing me. I guess dancing in those heels on the wooden dance floor had really hurt them. My grandmother rubbed some Aspercreme on them and I took some tylenol and passed out. She let me miss church the next day because of how much pain I had been in the night before. My prom night was absolutely miserable!

So why am I writing this? Well, right now a high school in Jackson, Mississippi is refusing to have a prom for it’s students. All because Constance McMillen wanted to bring her girlfriend as her date. When she asked the principal of the school he told her that it was against the school’s policy for financial reasons. They offer a discounted price to couples for purchasing two tickets at once and single people were going with their friends to get a cheaper ticket. A problem that’s easily solved by -not- penalizing single people for wanting to attend the proms without a date and giving everyone the same damn price for every ticket they buy. Constance contacted the ACLU and now she has an attorney. Rather than changing their policies and allowing Constance to bring her girlfriend to the prom, the school decided they’d just cancel the prom. This has resulted in the rest of the student body blaming her for ‘ruining their senior year’. Because it’s not the school’s fault for having a bigoted, homophobic policy. It’s Constance’s fault for trying to rock the boat.

Constance McMillen deserves to go to her prom with whoever she wants to go with! Every high schooler deserves to go to their senior prom! What the Itawanba County School District is doing is absolutely ridiculous and uncalled for. Help Constance and the rest of the students at her high school be able to have their prom experiences by e-mailing the Itawanba County School District and becoming a fan of the “Let Constance Take her Girlfriend to Prom” facebook page. You can also blog about your very own prom experience to help draw attention to this situation. If you do so by the end of March and follow the rules at Eden Cafe you will have the opportunity to win a $100 gift card for EdenFantasys!

Because its always an accident…

(In case you didn’t guess, Pete is a penis and CiCi is a cervix.)